An English priest named Yorick, deciding to travel to France, packs and sails for Calais. In Calais, a Franciscan monk begs Yorick for alms. Yorick cruelly rebuffs him. After the monk leaves, Yorick regrets his cruelty and resolves to let his trip teach him to be a better person.
Yorick visits a carriage-yard to buy a carriage. There, he sees the monk speaking to a lady (later revealed to be Madame L—). Retreating, Yorick crosses paths with Monsieur Dessein, a hotel-owner and proprietor of the carriage-yard, who offers to show him some carriages. Shortly after, Yorick bumps into Madame L—, offers her his hand, and follows Monsieur Dessein to the carriage-house with her. Believing he sees suffering on her face, Yorick develops a crush on Madame L— and wishes to do something good for her. When they reach the carriage-house, Monsieur Dessein realizes he has the wrong key and goes to fetch the right one, leaving Yorick and Madame L— alone. The monk approaches them. Yorick apologizes for his earlier behavior and offers the monk his snuff-box. The monk and Yorick exchange snuff-boxes as a gesture of friendship, and the monk departs.
Yorick wants to offer to travel with Madame L— in a two-person carriage, but he worries people may infer an inappropriate sexual relationship between them. Monsieur Dessein returns with the right key, but a servant calls him away. Alone again, Yorick and Madame L— chat awkwardly about French men and flirtation. Then Monsieur Dessein comes back and tells Madame L— her brother has arrived at the hotel. As Madame L— is leaving, Yorick mentions that her brother’s arrival has spoiled a proposal he wanted to make her; she replies that she guesses what the proposal is and that if her brother had not arrived, she would have accepted.
Yorick buys a carriage and rides to Montriul, where he hires a servant, a young man named La Fleur with no useful skills. Yorick and La Fleur travel on to Amiens, where Yorick sees Madame L— riding by in her brother’s coach. Later, Madame L— sends Yorick a letter asking him to deliver another letter to Madame de R— in Paris and inviting him to visit her sometime in Brussels. Recalling that he has sworn faithfulness to Eliza back in England, Yorick vows not to visit Brussels without her. By a series of coincidences, La Fleur ends up running into Madame L—, who asks him whether he has a letter from Yorick for her. La Fleur, embarrassed, runs back to Yorick and convinces him to copy a love letter La Fleur has on hand so that La Fleur can give something to Madame L—. Unable to think up a letter of his own on the spot, Yorick goes along with La Fleur’s plan and copies the letter. Then he and La Fleur leave for Paris.
In Paris, Yorick decides to visit the Opera comique and enters a shop to ask an attractive grisset (a term for a young French woman, generally of the working class) for directions. Though she repeats the directions several times, Yorick forgets them as soon as he leaves and returns to ask again. While there, Yorick mentions that the grisset must have an excellent pulse, since she has a good heart, and he lays his fingers on her wrist. The grisset’s husband walks in, bows to Yorick, and leaves. Yorick is shocked by his behavior. A little later, he buys some gloves from the grisset and departs.
Yorick finds the Opera comique, where he shares a box with an old French soldier. In the standing section, they see a tall German man blocking the view of a dwarf and refusing to move. The old French soldier summons an opera employee to deal with the German. Yorick applauds him. Later, they chat; the soldier tells Yorick that all nations have good and bad aspects and that travel is good because it helps people learn about and love one another. Yorick heartily approves of the sentiment.
Walking home from the Opera, Yorick pops into a bookstore to buy some Shakespeare. The bookseller refuses to sell him the Shakespeare in the store, which belongs to Count de B****, who is having it bound. The bookseller mentions that Count de B**** is an Anglophile. A chambermaid comes into the store to buy a book; Yorick leaves the store with her, advises her against falling in love, and gives her a crown coin. When she mentions she works for Madame de R—, Yorick tells her he has a letter for her employer and says he'll visit the next day.
When Yorick returns to his hotel, La Fleur tells him the French police have come looking for him because he doesn’t have a passport. Initially, Yorick blows off his potential trouble with the law. Then he overhears a caged starling in a hotel hallway repeating the phrase “I can’t get out,” which reminds Yorick of the horrors of incarceration and slavery. The next morning, Yorick rides to Versailles to visit a French official who could get him a passport. As the official is busy, Yorick decides to visit and beg for help from Count de B**** instead.
Yorick finds Count de B**** reading Shakespeare. He tells Count de B**** that, although they don’t know each other, Yorick is relying on his fellow Englishman, Shakespeare, to introduce them. Count de B**** asks Yorick’s name, and Yorick points to the name Yorick (the former king’s dead jester) in Hamlet. Count de B**** pockets the play and leaves the room. A few hours later, Count de B**** returns with a passport. He tells Yorick that he could only have gotten a passport so quickly for a jester.
Yorick goes back to his hotel room, where the chambermaid is waiting for him to ask whether he has a letter for Madame de R—. He and the chambermaid end up sitting on the bed; helping her with a loose shoe strap, Yorick knocks her over and feels extreme sexual temptation, but he hustles her out of his room before anything happens.
Count de B**** introduces Yorick to various important people in Parisian society. After three weeks, Yorick gets sick of hobnobbing with them and decides to leave France for Italy. On the way, he decides to stop in Moulines to visit Maria, a young madwoman he heard about from a friend. He finds Maria in the countryside, cries with her, and walks her to Moulines; when they part, he thinks that if it weren’t for his beloved Eliza, he would marry her.
Yorick’s carriage is delayed on the way to Turin by a large stone in the road. Yorick stops at an inn for the night, where the innkeeper demands that Yorick share his room with a lady from Piedmont and her maid. Embarrassed at having to share a room for the night, Yorick and the lady talk through a series of rules they will follow to make the experience as painless as possible. Among the rules is that Yorick will not speak after they have gone to bed except to say his prayers. After they go to bed, however, Yorick tosses and turns so miserably that he ends up shouting, “O my God!” The lady scolds him. While making excuses for his outburst, the maid quietly enters the room, at which point Yorick ends up throwing out his arm and catching hold of her—(at this point, the story breaks off).