The Sirens of Titan: Chapter 8: In a Hollywood Night Club Summary & Analysis

Mercury sings “like a crystal goblet,” with half of the planet stuck in an eternal day and the other in eternal night. There are creatures who live in Mercury’s caves and who are nourished by the planet’s singing. These aliens reproduce via “flaking.” They don’t have sex differentiation, or any real childhood stage. They cannot cause each other harm, and they only have one sense: touch. Their communication is limited to two phrases—“Here I am,” and “So glad you are.” They exist in beautiful patterns on the phosphorescent walls of the cave, and on Earth they are called “harmoniums.”

When Unk and Boaz approach Mercury, it almost looks like a densely populated, civilized planet. However, this is just an illusion. Unk cries, thinking about Bee, Chrono, and Stony. He thinks about the name “Malachi Constant” but doesn’t know what it means. Unk and Boaz’s automatically-driven ship has trouble landing on the planet’s surface, and they descend into “inky blackness.” The ship keeps descending in “lurches,” until eventually the two passengers can see a yellow light coming through the window. The ship has successfully landed inside one of Mercury’s caves.

Astonished by the sights outside, Boaz exclaims that they have landed “right in the middle of a Hollywood night club.” However, despite how pleasant the landscape outside seems, it is actually a “vacuum,” and when they open the door it immediately causes their lungs to start bleeding. They shut the door immediately. However, after loading themselves with goofballs and holding their ears and noses, they venture out, exploring the area where the ship has landed. They notice the harmoniums, but find them “ghastly.” They remain in a state of disbelief about their situation; Boaz suggests they go out of the cave and attempt to communicate with the people living in the (illusion of) skyscrapers above.

However, while the ship was able to descend into the cave on autopilot, going back up is not as easy. Trying to move, the ship emits a screaming sound, and it becomes clear that it is wedged inside the cave. Each time the ship moves a little, it overheats and shuts down, and falls back onto the cave floor. Boaz exclaims that it’s hopeless. However, at this moment Unk looks out the window and notices the harmoniums are spelling out letters to make a message. The message reads, “IT’S AN INTELLIGENCE TEST!”