Ashes

by

Cate Kennedy

Chris’s Mother Character Analysis

Chris’s mother recently lost her husband (Chris’s father), Alan, and is still grieving. From early on in the story, it’s clear that Chris and his mother have a strained relationship. His mother seems to care a great deal about keeping up appearances: most of her conversations with revolve around gossiping about her friends’ children and grandchildren, and she seems ashamed of the fact that Chris is unmarried and childless at 35. Chris is gay, and when he was a child, his parents seemed embarrassed by him whenever they had guests over. They could tell that he was somehow different—but the story never reveals whether his mother knows for sure that he’s gay. As a result of this secrecy and lack of communication, she and Chris aren’t close. In the story’s present, the two of them are on their way to a lake to scatter Alan’s ashes, and Chris’s mother rambles about the past while Chris remains silent and privately resentful. Chris’s mother has started to rework history as a way of coping with her grief: she speaks as though her marriage was perfect and Chris’s relationship with his father was healthy. This offends Chris, as it minimizes the pain that his parents’ disapproval has caused him throughout his life. However, the story suggests that Chris’s mother does this to try to come to grips with her past mistakes. It may be easier for her to mourn her late husband if her memories of him are happy—and, possibly, she can feel better about the harm she’s caused Chris if she pretends that the past was rosier than it was. All of this, though, simply pushes Chris away, and the two never talk much about their differing views of Chris’s father. However, after Chris and his mother perform the cathartic ritual of scattering Alan’s ashes on the lake, the story ends on the hopeful note that they’ll be able to be more open with each other going forward.

Chris’s Mother Quotes in Ashes

The Ashes quotes below are all either spoken by Chris’s Mother or refer to Chris’s Mother. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
Communication and Misunderstanding Theme Icon
).
Ashes Quotes

Since his father died, Chris keeps coming across small reminders everywhere, set like mousetraps ready to snap, like little buried landmines. Today, for instance, they’re in his father’s car, which his mother says she can’t bear to sell. It smells so characteristically, still, of shoe polish and peppermints, and in the back seat lies the woollen tartan scarf his father had worn for years. Each detail had assailed Chris as he’d opened the door, reaching over to stow the box in its calico bag on the back seat.

Related Characters: Chris, Chris’s Mother, Chris’s Father/Alan
Related Symbols: Alan’s Car
Page Number: 18-19
Explanation and Analysis:

“Here, here,” his mother had remonstrated. “At my feet.”

Where else? he’d thought sourly, finding the right key for the ignition, as the lifetime habit of keeping his responses to himself closed his mouth in a firm and well-worn line. A line that suggested nothing, broached nothing, gave nothing away.

Related Characters: Chris’s Mother (speaker), Chris, Chris’s Father/Alan
Related Symbols: Alan’s Car
Page Number: 19
Explanation and Analysis:

“I told Shirley, that’s where he’d rather be laid to rest, in the place where he shared such precious times with his son. He had lots of happy memories of all those fishing trips.”

All those fishing trips. They’d been twice. Once at the Easter break, and once for the first week of the September school holidays. After that his father had given up. Both trips are still etched vividly in Chris’s mind, like so many of the powerless indignities of childhood.

Related Characters: Chris’s Mother (speaker), Chris, Chris’s Father/Alan
Related Symbols: The Lake
Page Number: 23
Explanation and Analysis:

It was Scott who’d moved on, though. Chris had been going to introduce him to his parents, he just had to wait for the right moment, he’d told Scott in increasing tones of self-recrimination. It wasn’t as if he was ashamed of him, God no. But he’d gone anyway.

Related Characters: Chris, Chris’s Mother, Chris’s Father/Alan, Scott
Page Number: 25
Explanation and Analysis:

“You obviously... you’ve got to live the way you see fit.” He was whispering. Every word like a pulling stitch as he panted slightly, eyes shut tight against the possibility of looking his son in the eye. “But there’s no need to... well...throw it in her face. It would kill her.”

Spending his last hours worrying about her. It had killed him, not her. He’d taken that tiny admission, heavy and impervious as a lead sinker, and clung on to its icy weight all the way down to the depths.

Related Characters: Chris’s Father/Alan (speaker), Chris, Chris’s Mother
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

It’s nauseating, this revisionism; it infuriates him. This, he thinks savagely, this is the best she can summon: the two of them travelling alone to enact a ceremony in the presence of no lifelong friends, no neighbours who care enough, no extended family, in a place whose symbolism is wholly an invention. This is the reality, he imagines saying to her, just you and me, your 35-year-old son who you cast as the perennial bachelor, this pitiful pilgrimage I can’t wait to be finished with.

Related Characters: Chris, Chris’s Mother, Chris’s Father/Alan
Related Symbols: The Lake
Page Number: 27
Explanation and Analysis:

Soon she won’t camouflage her disappointment so well, and then she’ll raise the stakes. “I don’t understand why you can’t just stay,” she’ll say petulantly. “I know you’ll think I’m stupid but I feel nervous here alone in the house at night.” She will pause, he is certain, and then add, “And it’s not as if you’ve got a wife and children at home waiting, is it?”

Related Characters: Chris’s Mother (speaker), Chris
Page Number: 28
Explanation and Analysis:

Chris imagines her looking in the mirror that morning, trying the scarf on, lifting her chin in that way she has, every small decision an aching effort. He wishes he’d told her she looked nice, when he’d arrived at her door. Her expression as she faces the camera, obedient and tremulous and trying not to blink, makes his throat feel tight; there is a stinging behind his eyes.

Related Characters: Chris, Chris’s Mother, Chris’s Father/Alan
Page Number: 31
Explanation and Analysis:

“You,” is all she says.

No possibility that Chris might be permitted to feel the same violent shirking resistance, no likelihood that he will just be able to stand upend the box and shake the contents into the water without touching them. No. Now that push has come to shove, it’s going to be him.

Related Characters: Chris’s Mother (speaker), Chris, Chris’s Father/Alan
Page Number: 31
Explanation and Analysis:

Chris thinks they can probably get back there by 4.30. As he nods and agrees what a nice gesture it would be, he sees a small smear of ash on the lapel of her jacket, and absently, tenderly, without interrupting her, he brushes it off.

Related Characters: Chris, Chris’s Mother, Chris’s Father/Alan
Related Symbols: The Lake
Page Number: 33
Explanation and Analysis:
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Ashes PDF

Chris’s Mother Quotes in Ashes

The Ashes quotes below are all either spoken by Chris’s Mother or refer to Chris’s Mother. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
Communication and Misunderstanding Theme Icon
).
Ashes Quotes

Since his father died, Chris keeps coming across small reminders everywhere, set like mousetraps ready to snap, like little buried landmines. Today, for instance, they’re in his father’s car, which his mother says she can’t bear to sell. It smells so characteristically, still, of shoe polish and peppermints, and in the back seat lies the woollen tartan scarf his father had worn for years. Each detail had assailed Chris as he’d opened the door, reaching over to stow the box in its calico bag on the back seat.

Related Characters: Chris, Chris’s Mother, Chris’s Father/Alan
Related Symbols: Alan’s Car
Page Number: 18-19
Explanation and Analysis:

“Here, here,” his mother had remonstrated. “At my feet.”

Where else? he’d thought sourly, finding the right key for the ignition, as the lifetime habit of keeping his responses to himself closed his mouth in a firm and well-worn line. A line that suggested nothing, broached nothing, gave nothing away.

Related Characters: Chris’s Mother (speaker), Chris, Chris’s Father/Alan
Related Symbols: Alan’s Car
Page Number: 19
Explanation and Analysis:

“I told Shirley, that’s where he’d rather be laid to rest, in the place where he shared such precious times with his son. He had lots of happy memories of all those fishing trips.”

All those fishing trips. They’d been twice. Once at the Easter break, and once for the first week of the September school holidays. After that his father had given up. Both trips are still etched vividly in Chris’s mind, like so many of the powerless indignities of childhood.

Related Characters: Chris’s Mother (speaker), Chris, Chris’s Father/Alan
Related Symbols: The Lake
Page Number: 23
Explanation and Analysis:

It was Scott who’d moved on, though. Chris had been going to introduce him to his parents, he just had to wait for the right moment, he’d told Scott in increasing tones of self-recrimination. It wasn’t as if he was ashamed of him, God no. But he’d gone anyway.

Related Characters: Chris, Chris’s Mother, Chris’s Father/Alan, Scott
Page Number: 25
Explanation and Analysis:

“You obviously... you’ve got to live the way you see fit.” He was whispering. Every word like a pulling stitch as he panted slightly, eyes shut tight against the possibility of looking his son in the eye. “But there’s no need to... well...throw it in her face. It would kill her.”

Spending his last hours worrying about her. It had killed him, not her. He’d taken that tiny admission, heavy and impervious as a lead sinker, and clung on to its icy weight all the way down to the depths.

Related Characters: Chris’s Father/Alan (speaker), Chris, Chris’s Mother
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

It’s nauseating, this revisionism; it infuriates him. This, he thinks savagely, this is the best she can summon: the two of them travelling alone to enact a ceremony in the presence of no lifelong friends, no neighbours who care enough, no extended family, in a place whose symbolism is wholly an invention. This is the reality, he imagines saying to her, just you and me, your 35-year-old son who you cast as the perennial bachelor, this pitiful pilgrimage I can’t wait to be finished with.

Related Characters: Chris, Chris’s Mother, Chris’s Father/Alan
Related Symbols: The Lake
Page Number: 27
Explanation and Analysis:

Soon she won’t camouflage her disappointment so well, and then she’ll raise the stakes. “I don’t understand why you can’t just stay,” she’ll say petulantly. “I know you’ll think I’m stupid but I feel nervous here alone in the house at night.” She will pause, he is certain, and then add, “And it’s not as if you’ve got a wife and children at home waiting, is it?”

Related Characters: Chris’s Mother (speaker), Chris
Page Number: 28
Explanation and Analysis:

Chris imagines her looking in the mirror that morning, trying the scarf on, lifting her chin in that way she has, every small decision an aching effort. He wishes he’d told her she looked nice, when he’d arrived at her door. Her expression as she faces the camera, obedient and tremulous and trying not to blink, makes his throat feel tight; there is a stinging behind his eyes.

Related Characters: Chris, Chris’s Mother, Chris’s Father/Alan
Page Number: 31
Explanation and Analysis:

“You,” is all she says.

No possibility that Chris might be permitted to feel the same violent shirking resistance, no likelihood that he will just be able to stand upend the box and shake the contents into the water without touching them. No. Now that push has come to shove, it’s going to be him.

Related Characters: Chris’s Mother (speaker), Chris, Chris’s Father/Alan
Page Number: 31
Explanation and Analysis:

Chris thinks they can probably get back there by 4.30. As he nods and agrees what a nice gesture it would be, he sees a small smear of ash on the lapel of her jacket, and absently, tenderly, without interrupting her, he brushes it off.

Related Characters: Chris, Chris’s Mother, Chris’s Father/Alan
Related Symbols: The Lake
Page Number: 33
Explanation and Analysis: