Family and Friendship Theme Analysis

Jahren’s studies and scientific research take her far from her home in rural Minnesota, and while she experiences long stretches of social isolation, she eventually creates her own—albeit nontraditional—family that is firmly rooted in her love of science. In this way, Lab Girl emphasizes the importance of chosen family, implying that a nontraditional family can be just as supportive and emotionally nourishing as a traditional one, if not more so.

Jahren’s childhood in rural Minnesota sets the stage for her emotional distance from her family and friends: she comments that the “vast emotional distances between the individual members of a Scandinavian family are forged early and reinforced daily.” She notes that she knows little of her ancestors beyond the fact that they arrived from Norway in the late nineteenth century, and rarely saw her extended family members during her childhood, even the ones who lived in the same small town where she grew up. Jahren writes that her family’s strong suit was “silent togetherness”—like how every evening she and her father would walk two miles from his lab to their home in silence. Many of the families in her small town had lived there for generations, and Jahren notes that it was only when she was older, and left home for larger urban areas, that she realized that the world was populated by people she did not already know. Yet warmth, affection, and emotional openness were not culturally appropriate in Jahren’s hometown, and Jahren’s memoir implies that she didn’t maintain close relationships with many people she grew up with. She even comments that she hardly noticed when her three older brothers left home, as she rarely spoke to them when they lived in the same house.

Within this context, Jahren strikes up a friendship with the one person who seems less socially adept than she is; she first notices Bill in a field research trip, where he is perpetually “several meters away from the edge of the group, digging his own private hole.” The deep, platonic relationship that they develop is built on a foundation that combines a love of science and intense social awkwardness—the beginnings of a chosen family that is more supportive and fulfilling than the family she’s grown up with. Jahren and Bill began to seek each other out, sharing space along the margins of any social situation, maintaining a comfortable silence that may have reminded Jaren of her quiet evening walks with her father. When Bill arrives in Atlanta to join Jahren and help her build her own science lab, she recalls “the deep and simple happiness that comes from not being alone.” Jahren and Bill’s friendship changes only slightly when Jahren meets Clint, who will become her husband and the father of her child. At first, Bill is uncomfortable with Jahren’s new relationship, especially as she and Clint show up on his doorstep, proclaiming that they are now married. According to Jahren, however, Clint ensures a smooth transition to this new situation by handing Bill the keys to his car, and the three of them enjoy Family Day at Fort Henry. She notes the significance of the so-called Family Day with no irony: Bill and Clint are her chosen family, the people who keep her safe, sane, and happy, even if they do so in different ways.

When Bill’s father dies, Jahren is living in Norway and can only communicate her support for Bill from a distance, which translates to a string of unanswered emails and texts. Hoping to connect with him in the way that only she can, Jahren buys Bill a ticket to Ireland, meets him at the airport, and the two embark on a multi-day field trip through the countryside to collect soil samples. But as they have not secured the paperwork to take the samples they have collected back to the United States, they bring back only their field notes and the shared memory of the experience. More than the scientific value of the trip, however, is Bill’s realization that family structures change, and while he had lost his father—who played an important role in his young life—he was not alone. Jahren’s gesture ensured that Bill recognized their familial bonds, as she was there to help him grieve.

Jahren’s line of work can be painfully isolating, as she spends more time surrounded by plants in the lab than she spends interacting with other human beings. That, coupled with a childhood that discouraged warmth and closeness even between family members, would suggest dismal outcomes for Jahren’s social connections. Luckily, this was not the case; Jahren’s infectious enthusiasm for scientific research brought her into contact with kindred spirits, giving her the opportunity to share her life’s work with a true professional and platonic partner, as well as a romantic one, crafting for herself a nontraditional, chosen family.