Nicolas Delmar Character Analysis

He says: ‘For me, you see, I look at life like this: If someone had come to me and asked me if I wished to be born I think I should have answered No. I’m sure I should have answered No. But no one asked me. I am here not through my will. Most things that happen to me—they are not my will either. And so that’s what I say to myself all the time: "You didn’t ask to be born, you didn’t make the world as it is, you didn’t make yourself as you are. Why torment yourself? Why not take life just as it comes? […]’

‘Do you know what I feel about you? I think you are very lonely. I know, because for a long time I was lonely myself. I hated people, I didn’t want to see anyone. And then one day I thought: “No, this isn’t the way.” And now I go about a lot. I force myself to. I have a lot of friends; I’m never alone. Now I’m much happier.’

I have an irresistible longing for a long, strong drink to make me forget that once again I have given damnable human beings the right to pity me and laugh at me.

I say in a loud, aggressive voice: ‘Go out and get a bottle of brandy,’ take money out of my bag and offer it to him.

This is where he starts getting hold of me, Serge. He doesn’t accept the money or refuse it—he ignores it. He blots out what I have said and the way I said it. He ignores it as if it had never been, and I know that, for him, it has never been.

All his charm and ease of manner have gone. He looks anxious and surly. I say awkwardly: ‘I don’t think it at all too much. But I haven’t got the money….’

Before I can get any further he bursts into a shout of laughter, ‘What did I tell you?’ he says to Delmar.

‘But have it, take it, all the same. I like you. I'll give it you as a present.’

‘No, no. All I meant was that I can't pay you now.’

‘Oh, that’s all right. You can send me the money from London. I’ll tell you what you can do for me—you can find some other idiots who'll buy my pictures.’

He says: ‘For me, you see, I look at life like this: If someone had come to me and asked me if I wished to be born I think I should have answered No. I’m sure I should have answered No. But no one asked me. I am here not through my will. Most things that happen to me—they are not my will either. And so that’s what I say to myself all the time: "You didn’t ask to be born, you didn’t make the world as it is, you didn’t make yourself as you are. Why torment yourself? Why not take life just as it comes? […]’

‘Do you know what I feel about you? I think you are very lonely. I know, because for a long time I was lonely myself. I hated people, I didn’t want to see anyone. And then one day I thought: “No, this isn’t the way.” And now I go about a lot. I force myself to. I have a lot of friends; I’m never alone. Now I’m much happier.’

I have an irresistible longing for a long, strong drink to make me forget that once again I have given damnable human beings the right to pity me and laugh at me.

I say in a loud, aggressive voice: ‘Go out and get a bottle of brandy,’ take money out of my bag and offer it to him.

This is where he starts getting hold of me, Serge. He doesn’t accept the money or refuse it—he ignores it. He blots out what I have said and the way I said it. He ignores it as if it had never been, and I know that, for him, it has never been.

All his charm and ease of manner have gone. He looks anxious and surly. I say awkwardly: ‘I don’t think it at all too much. But I haven’t got the money….’

Before I can get any further he bursts into a shout of laughter, ‘What did I tell you?’ he says to Delmar.

‘But have it, take it, all the same. I like you. I'll give it you as a present.’

‘No, no. All I meant was that I can't pay you now.’

‘Oh, that’s all right. You can send me the money from London. I’ll tell you what you can do for me—you can find some other idiots who'll buy my pictures.’