Through the Looking-Glass

As Alice approaches the egg, it gets bigger until she realizes that it's actually Humpty Dumpty sitting high on a wall. When she gets close, Alice remarks out loud that he looks like an egg. He doesn't answer, so she thinks he's a doll until he says that he's offended to be called an egg. Alice tries to turn her statement into a compliment by insisting that she said that he looked like an egg and that he's pretty. Humpty Dumpty says that some people have no sense. It seems as though he tells this to a tree, so Alice softly recites the poem "Humpty Dumpty" to herself and declares that the last line is too long. Humpty Dumpty snaps at her to stop talking to herself and to state her name and her business instead.

Alice offers her name but before she can say anything else, Humpty Dumpty says her name is stupid and asks what it means. Alice asks if it has to mean anything, and Humpty Dumpty responds that it does. His name refers to his shape, while "Alice" doesn't tell him anything about Alice's shape. Not wanting to argue, Alice asks why he's sitting alone. Humpty Dumpty takes this as a riddle and says that there's nobody with him. He asks her for a better riddle. She asks if he thinks it'd be safer to be on the ground. This annoys him because it's easy, and he starts to say that the king promised him something. Alice finishes his sentence that the king will send horses and men but Humpty Dumpty accuses her of eavesdropping.

Alice says that she read it in a book and Humpty Dumpty responds that a book is a "History of England." Humpty Dumpty offers to shake hands with Alice to prove that he's not proud. His smile gets bigger, making Alice wonder what would happen if the edges of his mouth met in the back. Humpty Dumpty insists that they go back two conversation subjects but, when Alice can't remember it, he asks her how old she said she was. Alice says that she's seven years and six months, which Humpty Dumpty says is wrong—she never said that. Alice explains that she thought he was asking how old she is, but he snaps that if he meant that, he would've said that. Humpty Dumpty says that Alice should've stopped growing at seven. Alice indignantly says that "one can't help growing older," but Humpty Dumpty says that two can.

Alice decides that it's her turn to choose a subject, so she compliments Humpty Dumpty's belt. She deliberates out loud as to whether it's actually a belt or a cravat and realizes that she seriously offended Humpty Dumpty. He snarls that he's offended, but after Alice apologizes, he explains that it was an un-birthday present from the White Queen and the White King. Puzzled, Alice asks what an un-birthday present is. When Humpty Dumpty explains that it's a present given to someone when it's not their birthday, Alice declares that she likes birthday presents best. To prove that Alice is wrong, Humpty Dumpty makes Alice do the math and makes the point that in a year, there are 364 possible days for un-birthday presents, but only one for birthday presents. He says that this is "glory."

Alice asks what Humpty Dumpty means by "glory." He says that he means it's a good argument and, when Alice points out that "glory" doesn't refer to a good argument, Humpty Dumpty says scornfully that words mean what he wants them to mean. Alice asks if he can do this, but Humpty Dumpty's answer makes no sense. After a moment of silence, Humpty Dumpty says that verbs are proud and have tempers, but he can make them do anything. He declares, "Impenetrability!" and explains that it means that he's done with the subject and wants to know where Alice is going. Alice remarks that this is a lot of meaning for one word, and Humpty Dumpty says he pays words extra when he makes them work so hard.

Alice asks Humpty Dumpty if he could decode "Jabberwocky" for her. She recites the first verse and he begins to work through it and explain that brillig refers to 4:00 p.m., while toves are a cross between a badger, a lizard, and a corkscrew. He introduces her to portmanteau words like slithy (lithe and slimy) and mimsy (flimsy and miserable). When they get through the first verse, Alice explains that she read the poem in a book and mentions that Tweedledee recited an easier poem to her earlier. Humpty Dumpty insists that he's also good at reciting poetry and is going to recite one that was written just for Alice. Feeling that she has no choice but to listen, Alice sits down sadly.

Humpty Dumpty intones that he's telling Alice his poem in winter; in summer, she might understand; and in the fall, she should write it down. Alice interrupts through this until Humpty Dumpty scolds her. The poem proceeds and the narrator and some fish exchange messages. The fish refuse to do what the narrator wants them to, so the narrator gets a kettle and fills it. The narrator shouts for a messenger to wake up the sleeping fish, but ends up going to their door. The narrator finds the door locked, so they push and kick and try to turn the handle. Humpty Dumpty pauses here and Alice asks if that's the entire poem. He says it is and dismisses her.

Alice cheerfully bids Humpty Dumpty goodbye and extends her hand. He disdainfully offers her a single finger to shake and says that she's just like other people with two eyes, a nose, and a mouth, all in the same place. Alice insists that switching around her facial features wouldn't look nice, but Humpty Dumpty shuts his eyes and ignores her. She begins to walk away, talking to herself about how unsatisfactory her meeting with Humpty Dumpty was. She hears a heavy crash that shakes the forest.