The End of the Affair: Book 2, Chapter 2 Summary & Analysis

The letter from Mr. Parkis states that, with the help of a maid, he had been able to get inside Sarah’s house, which is how he happened upon a scrap of paper that appeared to be part of a love letter in Sarah’s handwriting. In the letter, Sarah wrote that she is “only beginning to love,” but already wants to “abandon everything, everybody but you.” She does not, however, write the name of whoever “you” is. Bendrix compares this scrap of a letter to his memories of the letters Sarah used to write him; in those letters, Sarah had always been careful to avoid open declarations of love and instead wrote the word “onions” for love and sex. Bendrix thinks of this “with hatred.”

Bendrix wonders to himself, “Why doesn’t hatred kill desire?” He writes that there was a time when he “tried to find a substitute [for Sarah], and it hadn’t worked.” Bendrix admits that he is “a jealous man” and is jealous of whoever his “rival” is. He remembers the fights he and Sarah used to have about his jealousy, which was what he used to measure love. Unlike Bendrix, Sarah had never been prone to jealousy and she had once told him that she wouldn’t mind if he chose to sleep with another woman. Bendrix, on the other hand, claims that he lived in constant fear that Sarah was seeing other men. Bendrix remembers telling Sarah he’d rather see her dead than “with another man” (which Bendrix considers characteristic of “ordinary human love”).

Bendrix remembers that this argument between himself and Sarah took place about a year into their relationship, while they were in his room. He writes that he “hated her because [he] wished to think she didn’t love [him].” Even though Sarah tried to apologize and end the argument, Bendrix challenged her by claiming she’d be jealous if Henry “threatened [their] marriage” by sleeping with someone else, but Sarah asserted that their marriage “never would be” threatened. Bendrix took this as an insult and left the apartment. Out of spite, Bendrix went to find a prostitute that he might be able to bring to his apartment. Once Bendrix found one, however, he realized that “passion for Sarah had killed simple lust forever.” Because of this, Bendrix left the prostitute behind and returned home to find that Sarah had left.

In the present, Bendrix wonders why people who believe in God don’t also believe in a “personal Devil.” Bendrix thinks about the power his own devil has (and always has had) over him. He writes that nothing Sarah ever said was enough to calm his personal devil down. Bendrix believes that if God is all about love then devils, including his own, would be devoted to teaching people like Bendrix and Mr. Parkis to “destroy love wherever we find it.”